Sorry I am late....

Well I am a day late. No real reason except I wasn't in a hurry to post a big fat NOTHING. I am still 289 stinky pounds. I think I am taking it much better this time. I realize this is probably just my body's way of retaliation for my 10 pound one week loss..go figure. We have a "home gym" now so I have been walking on the treadmill at least a mile everyday and still trying to do some aerobic here and there and still doing my normal cleaning routine ( I did cut back on the cleaning a bit). I am not sure what exactly my problem is I am taking my vitamins, taking my iron pills, but I am just exhausted all the time, I think this may be my thyroid problem rearing its VERY UGLY head so I am going to try and get to the doctor this week and get some lab work done to try and get to the bottom of why I am feeling this slum. Its very frustrating when you have so many things that you want to do but physically you just cant seem to get it done. On top of everything else my period should be here in a few days so of course my hormones are all of whack I want to eat everything in sight. I really feel like this battle is so unfair at times. I am not a monster eating everything in sight, why cant I just eat like a normal person and exercise and lose weight, why is it such a struggle, why do I have to love food so much, why is it so hard to just lose this darn weight??? I am in no way giving up but I just feel at times that its hopeless. Will I be fat forever?? Is being under 200 pounds just not within reason for me?? Am I setting myself up for failure?? Should I just change my thinking and accept this fat body as my reality??? Well don't look for any miracles from me for the next two weeks, my mom will be here in a few days God-willing, and although I am soooo happy she is coming to see us and I miss her so much and I am looking forward to her visit, eating is a big part of her visits here, she always brings all the NY, American and the Guyanese favorites and I know I will over indulge because its foods that I have not had access to in the 4 years that we have been outside of America. So needless to say my chances for any loss is zero to none. Should I even bother weighing myself in the next two weeks. I will be devastated if I go back over 300 pounds but I know that I probably wont be losing anything at all. WHAT SHOULD I DO??? My mom is over weight as well and we could probably both do without all the goodies that she is bringing, I don't want to make her visit rough by restricting food, cause i know that will just make the both of us super cranky and I don't want our visit to be stressful, I don't know when she will get to come back again. Well I promise to keep blogging but as far as getting on the scale , we will just have to see about that one.