Monday, April 30, 2007

Slow Yet Steady

The number for the week is 285 down 5 pounds from last week. Whooooo Hoooooo mashaAllah. I have also been a bit more moderate with my eating as well and even though my days of having 5 - 10 pound weekly loses may be gone I am happy to see the pounds are still diminishing. I am still steady with my exercise and water drinking, I try to take my thyroid medicine on a regular basis, I make sure that I drink PLENTY of water, and other than that I try to cut out as much stuff that I can but I allow myself one day a week to eat liberally but in moderation of course. I pray that all my fellow bloggers are doing well its been quiet around here lately.
take care

Monday, April 23, 2007

Trying to get there

Today I weighed in at 287 pounds and I am very happy about that but sort of in a yucky mood about some other things, a dear sister of mine is going through a really rough patch in her life and I really feel bad for her because it could happen to any of us, so my prayers are with her and any other sisters that may be going through a rough time in their relationships. Men can be so dumb sometimes, but we feel so lost without them. Is this payback for Eve and that darn apple..... Anyway I really don't feel like typing much maybe I will add some more again later during the week. I never posted about what the doctor told me so I will try and stop in and do that before my next weigh in when I am in a better mood.

Why does being happy have to be so hard?????
see you later

Monday, April 16, 2007

So hard to get back on track!!!!!

Today is the day that I decided enough was enough and we are half way through the day and so far so good. Why is it so hard to get back on track??? I was doing so good for so long and now it seems like it was harder to get motivated again. I actually found myself saying that I didn't care anymore, I will just be fat forever, but I know that's not what I want. I watched the biggest loser last night and I saw Matt win ( we are a few seasons behind here on middle east TV channels)I searched online and read that Matt and Suzy actually got married and had a child together ..how cute, match made in reality TV heaven LOL. Anyway back to be. I weighed in this morning 2 pounds heavier now at 291, only 9 pounds away from the place I vowed that I never wanted to see again. This is the turning point for me( I don't know how many times I said this) but I really WANT to mean it this time. I want to be less than 200 pounds and I know eating whatever I want isn't going to get me here, I want to lose 50 more pounds before the end of the summer, I want to feel good about myself, I want to look in the mirror and not be totally disgusted by what I see. I want to be a health fit fun mom , and be able to run around in the yard and play with my children. I want to be a hot sexy wife that can go in any store and buy a nice outfit and be able to find my size without searching for a store that has FAT people clothes, is this too much to ask for??? Am I being unreal??? Is this ever going to be my reality, I thought that I had crossed these hurdles in my mind before, how in the world did I get back here??? Well I cant look back, I have to move forward and I have to keep working, I cant give up. I am not a loser and I know I have the will in me to do this, I just need to ask God to give me more strength, I have to look at myself and figure out where I am going wrong, what am I doing to make this reality that I long for so difficult to achieve. I suppose I need to do some soul searching and get myself spiritually right so that the physical part will fall in sync, I don't know, I am willing to try anything. One thing I know for sure I want to see the scale move the other way and I don't want to have to starve myself to get there.
HERE's TO HOPE!!!!!!!

Monday, April 9, 2007

BUSY BUSY BUSY Week!!!

Well mom is gone ( sniff sniff sniff), the kids have been royally spoiled and so did my eating habits , but this is a lifestyle change so when she left last night so did the little 9 day splurge and today its back to business. I have to un-spoil my children, as well as my stomach, I drank a lot of water to help my body flush out all the bagels and pastries and goodies that I indulged in while she was here. I must admit however that although I did sample A LOT I really didn't over do it and I maintained a constant level of activity and exercise so I am very proud to say that I am still 289 pounds, and what a relief, I just knew I was going to have to fight off sow extra pounds that I would pick up while she was here but that never happened Alhamdulillah ( All praise due to God).
I did go ahead and get my lab work done and not surprisingly my thyroid is WAY out of control, for anyone familiar with thyroid disorders my lab work was the following:
TSH 30.17 , T3 0.35 , T4 27.15 so I am hypothyroid for sure, the problem is finding a good doctor, my hubby thinks that I should just take the medicine for a while and then re do my lab work but I read up online and you can really mess your heart up when your thyroid is out of control and I really don't want to fool around on my own with how much medicine I should take. What do you think??? I know he means well but I let him talk me out of going to my regular dentist and now its cost me a tooth. Living outside of the US there are some things you just don't do and going to a doctor or dentist that someone you know didn't refer you to can be very costly and dangerous. Its so much easier to go to the labs pay and get the tests you need and then buy the medicine for it at any local pharmacy, you really can become your own doctor if you know what your doing but you can also make yourself very sick if you don't. Well I am going to try and find a doctor and at least hear what they have to say, it cant hurt anything and if they are just totally off the rocker then I will consider my own course of action starting with a low dose of my old meds and slowly increasing every 2-4 weeks until my lab work is back to normal at least that was the protocol that I found online. I think the whole reason why I am back here again is because before when I was taking my medicine regularly my old OB doctor tested me and when she found my levels were normal she told me to stop taking the medicine, something I probably should have ignored, Oh well....you live and you learn. I am hoping that my return to my lifestyle change, my walking, and now taking my thyroid medicine will get my weight moving in the right direction once again. I shall keep you posted.
Take care and hang in there......we can do it

Monday, April 2, 2007

No Pain No Gain

Well this is going to be really really short because my mom is here for the week and I have been extremly busy. I have been walking and jogging a mile everyday on my treadmill and doing a little bit of aerobics with my dumb-bells. I eat samples of all my favorite food that she brought me ( still not eating any meat though) and the scale has not budged. Even though in the past the scale not moving would have spiraled me into a downhill depression I am ok because I think I am losing inches, for the first time in a LONG LONG LONG time I was walking and my legs were not rubbing eachother and my legs actually felt good, I know it sounds weird I cant really explain how but it just felt like I was in somebody elses legs, lol. My mom seems to be impressed with the progress that I made since her last visit and my sweet hubby has been telling me lots of encouraging words, so I am going to enjoy small portions of my favorite food stuffs and keep up the work outs. MAybe next week I will lose a pound or two but if I dont its no big deal I know I am eating good and I am excercising so even if its only my heart getting healthy I think its well worth it, I can go back into strict food choices next week when my mom is gone, but this is helping me realize that once I reach my target weight goal I really can return to eating what I want as long as I control my portions and continue to excercise, I am just elated that I am not gaining any weight so over all its been a very good week, and best of all my mom is here and we are having a great time. ok gotta run.
take care